So many things going through my head.

I have so many things I want to try, I don't know why I want to take on more than I already have on my plate, but I find if I keep myself busy I don't feel so down.
So I think tonight I'm going to dust off the sewing machine and start stitching! I have this really cute square tote pattern (Click here) and I wanna try my hand at making a blouse for myself, and I'm super excited to get to make a trendy curtain set for my bestie. I'm a bit scared, but she also wants me to make her wedding dress (for when the day comes). She loves me no matter what, so I know she will love whatever I attempt to make for her. I will most definitely be posting some pictures when I finish, whether they turn out great or not.

Boy, they grow so fast!

My Gibson turned 5 years old yesterday. It was a great day filled with lots of laughter and all those old memories came rushing back from the day he was born. To think that 5 years have already gone by and all the milestones we went through together. Time flies!
He gets a party next weekend with a few of his new friends from Kindergarten. I'm a little nervous about 8-9 screaming kids running around in my house, but Russ will be home to go crazy with me. It should be ok though, it's only 2 hours long.

Anyways folks, I should really get started on my sewing projects. Adios!

Always, Busy Bee

The simple things...

You know that scent that reminds you of something great? You know what I'm talking about, that really powerful scent that triggers a memory? There are many that do that for me, the one at the moment that reminds me of winter, (particularly snow gently falling after dark) is apple cinnamon. I went out today and got one of those Febreeze candles and am almost wishing there was snow falling at this very moment. I saw almost because I would like one year without snow on the ground when I take the kids trick or treating.
Mmmmm.....Apple cinnamon. Almost makes me wanna get up and bake a pie.

On another note, I started a crafting project! Well, it's more of a goal but I made it into a public goal (group) on facebook. I want to craft more and have found the perfect way to do it. I will be doing a weekly project as well as a monthly project. This month the weekly projects are going to be all things Halloween related. Smaller crafts that can be used for decorations or something around the house for Halloween. Starting next month, the BIG project will be a patchwork quilt. I just hope my sewing machine loves me as much as I love it. I'm really excited about the projects and will post about them as much as I can.

Until tomorrow,
Crafty, creative, memory-enjoying,
Busy Bee

Poo Poo

This morning I was frantically running around getting everyone ready for a baby shower. Our babysitter had a baby and her step-mom threw a surprise shower today. My boys went outside to play with some of the older kids and the girls retreated to the house. We were there for about 2 hours when Izaac decided he needed to get into some trouble. Uh Oh! He found a pile of puppy do-do! YAY!! Something warm and squishy between the fingers! Hey, at least he didn't eat it. I didn't even have to clean it, which is even more amazing. The boys that were watching (great job guys) took care of washing him up.
The rest of the baby shower was alright, the quietest shower I've ever been to. Half the people there spoke very little English, but were gems nonetheless.
Today made me really glad I didn't have anyone throw me a baby shower or sprinkle for my kids. It's too much of a pain, then I would have to clean up and sit with a bunch of people who don't know each other in a room and be all awkward and stuff. Not my cup of tea.
That was the big event for the day. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I'm doing absolutely nothing at all besides cleaning my house. Terrible, I know, but my wonderful husband works out of town and always misses the holidays. We are doing our turkey dinner the week he comes home, so Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Have a safe and happy holiday!

Until the next time,
Busy Bee

My children...

They have good days and they have bad days, thankfully today was one of the rare good days.
We had a lot of fun just playing, watching movies, going out for lunch and going to the park. The boys love each other so much, it makes my heart melt. When we went to the playground this evening, some older boy was picking on Gibson and started to make fun of Izaac, too. Gib got really protective and started yelling at the kid that was picking on them. As soon as I walked over, of course, the boy ran off. Man, where do some kids get off? Picking on a 4 year old and 1 year old? It was warming watching the kids play together after that. I love seeing how close they are and how much they look out for each other.
When we were done at the park, we went for a walk. Gibson wanted to pull Izaac in the wagon, but, that boy couldn't move the wagon anymore than he can pick his brother up. We must have walked around the neighborhood for over an hour before we finally came home.
Overall, it was a very stress-free and fun day.

A little duct tape and a call to dad...

My dad always knows what I'm talking about, even if I don't. He helped me fix my vehicle tonight and I can honestly say that was the main event all day for me.
I've been having issues with my vehicle since the day Russ left for work, of course it won't happen while he's still home, it has to happen as soon as he walks out the door. I knew I had a weak seal somewhere but I didn't know how to fix it, so naturally, I called my dad. He knew exactly what was wrong as soon I started making the noises with my mouth. First thing he did was laugh at me, then told me to find some duct tape and some baby wipes. I taped the crap out of my broken vacuum seal so now when I stop at a red light, I won't stall! I no longer have to fear breaking down in the middle of a busy intersection or having my exploder (explorer) sounding like it's ready to blow up. It's a temporary fix, but It'll do till I go visit my parents when my dad can actually fix it properly for me.
I really have nothing else to talk about tonight. Lately, I just want to curl up in a ball and hope everyone is gone and I don't have to talk to anyone anymore. I just don't enjoy people as much as I used to. I'm sure it has something to do with everything that's been going on in the past few weeks and months. I'll snap out of it eventually.
Until then, Goodnight
Signed The Busy Bee who now has a better running exploder.

Today was fairly easier...

It was a bit quieter in my home today. Thank Batman for the semi-quiet afternoon! I was starting to think I was going to need to pull my phones out of the wall. For the past month now, my phone has been literally ringing non-stop.
After I dropped the lil man off at school, I was able to stay for a while and visit with some of the other moms outside for nearly an hour. It feels so strange to have someone else to laugh with and share things with and we all have the same things in common. We all have kids in the same class.
Russ and I only have 2 friends with kids, and they both live almost 2 hours away. Everyone else we know is single and living the single life. Not really us anymore.
One of the other mom's wants to have our husbands meet, I'm pretty excited about that. I think it would do Russ a world of good to hang out with another dad and talk about normal family stuff.
I think I'm a bit of a loser, but I get really excited to take Gibs to school so I can hang out with the other mama's.
That's all for tonight ;)

Life will go on...

We have been dealing with a ton of stuff lately. I've been so overwhelmed that I haven't made any time for myself.
We have been dealing with a lot of anger and aggression issues with our oldest lately and weren't sure how to handle the situation. I talked to his pediatrician and he laughed at me and told me that was normal child behavior. Well, as his mother, I knew there was something wrong and needed a second opinion on the matter.
I talked to a local nurse help line a few weeks back and they suggested a program for us to talk to. I filled out all the intake forms and dropped them off. I was told it would take at least 2 months to get an appointment. I thought, "Okay, I can deal with this for another 2 months, I've been dealing with it ever since I can remember" But I received a phone call about half an hour later telling me they had bumped someone else and wanted to see Gibson right away.
I have had to take Gibson to see a psychologist to talk about a lot of things. He tells us some really disturbing things that a child at his age should not even know about. One of the biggest things (amongst many) is that he can see ghosts and there are voices in his head telling him to hurt people. Can you imagine being a parent and trying to keep yourself pulled together when your child tells you something like that? It's not easy. I find it hard to eat anything, sleeping is terrible, I'm having horrible mood swings, I cry out of the blue and feel sick to my stomach all the time, and it's because I worry for my child's sake.
At his latest appointment, his psychologist informs me that she thinks he has ADHD and detects early schizophrenia. She wants Gibson to see a psychiatrist for a second opinion but fears the worst in the situation.
Then she proceeds to tell me that she thinks I'm depressed because of the look on my face, and all the other signs I'm showing. Well excuse me, how would you react if you just found out your baby may have a mental illness? What would you do if your 4 year old told you he wants to kill himself? Would you be happy if he tried hurting everyone around him? What's the normal reaction to all this? I'm sure you wouldn't jump around singing and dancing all the time. I'm sad for my son, terrified I can't help him. Mortified they want to admit him into a hospital if he gets worse. Scared I may lose my son to an illness.
This is by far the hardest thing we have ever had to go through. This has been the only thing on my mind for the last couple months, I don't know how to function properly anymore. I'm glad we have a good support system and the school is doing everything they can to help us with this, but he can't get better soon enough.

Signed,
A Sad, Scared Busy Bee